


Someone's Bound To Get Burned

by fencingfox



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Happy Ending, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencingfox/pseuds/fencingfox
Summary: Adjusting to life in her universe hasn't been easy for B'Elanna. It doesn't help that somehow, her universe doesn't want her here. Maybe it's a punishment for all the ills she committed in that mirror universe.Rated Explicit for sexy times in the beginning and continued themes I deem somewhat dark.
Relationships: Mirror Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. Sweet Kisses Given Freely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyArreya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyArreya/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Where There's Smoke, There's Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21777733) by [LadyArreya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyArreya/pseuds/LadyArreya). 
  * Inspired by [Smoke and Mirrors](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/542317) by Kezhke. 



> This is a direct sequel to LadyArreya's Where There's Smoke, There's Fire.
> 
> I don't know exactly what time frame between _Blood Fever_ and _Day of Honor_ that LadyArreya had in mind. I'm setting this closer to _Day of Honor_ than to _Blood Fever_.
> 
> It makes the most sense if you're at least familiar with Kezhke's Smoke and Mirrors on FF.net and have additionally read LadyArreya's story.
> 
> Optional (but highly encouraged) music accompaniment: Try by Pink

The sweetness of his kiss draws her in more than any amount of posturing would, despite what role she's supposed to play here: the Klingon-human sub-regent, the mongrel daughter born out of her mother's abuse of her father (nearly a stranger to them both). The persona she promised to play probably would never let him into her chambers. Better he be caught by the Andorian, who, might be missing a head rather than an antennae if she truly was who she should be. No, he'd be caught by someone other than the Andorian if she was who she ought to be.

If she was this universe's B'Elanna, she'd sooner gut Tom for kissing her than let him walk her to her bed. At least, she thinks that's where they're going. She's walking backwards and she still stumbles on the alien furniture when she _is_ watching where she's going. He stops when her calves hit the back of the bed. He draws back from the kiss and looks at her— _oh wow_ —exactly how he— _not him, my Tom_ —had on Sakari. She should tell him to stop, but hadn't she just told him she loves him? Who does she love: this Tom or her Tom?

 _When did the Tom on _Voyager_ become my Tom?_ She only just realizes that's how she thinks of him. And yet, she's moving to lay on the bed, languidly pulling _this_ Tom with her. She doesn't pull hard; he can go if he wants. She doesn't think he wants to, but he hesitates to kiss her when he's over her and they're chest to chest. She can feel his heart beating a fast, steady beat. She knows hers is keeping the same time.

"I'm not him," he says firmly. Catching her— _almost_ —by surprise. His questions earlier proved he wondered what, if anything, she'd permitted with her Tom. She fights the urge to just pull him down. That prompts the worry that maybe she'll be too aggressive. Even if he seemed to warm up to her, she was still half-Klingon, still his slaver.

"I didn't tell him I love him," she says quietly without looking him in the eyes. It's true; she never has. Could she even? She isn't sure. She doesn't want to think about her Tom. There's still the possibility that she might never get back to her universe.

"Just making sure you know," he whispers as he catches her lips with his. He's more demanding in this kiss than the last, seeking entry by sliding his tongue along the cleft of her lips and then sucking her lower lip into his mouth softly almost immediately. She moans and arches against him without meaning to. He feels so much like how she remembers her Tom she could almost— _No._

B'Elanna forces her Tom from her mind. Right now, she should only think about the Tom in front of her, the one who makes her feel safe without trying. Her throat tightens into a whimper and Tom draws back. She doesn't want to explain right now. She doesn't even know where to begin except maybe: _Hi, I'm B'Elanna and I'm usually too terrified to admit my feelings because everyone disappoints me._ She pushes his shoulder gently. He gets the message to roll onto his back and she straddles him, feeling his growing bulge against the damp region between her legs.

She growls her content automatically as she rolls her hips against him in slow circles. His hands come to her hips and up her sides as he groans. Their lips crash together then. She isn't sure if he pulled her down or if she dived down. Either way, it feels better than she could have ever expected. His warm hands wrap around her under her shirt, pulling her close. She's surprised by his casual strength. He'd looked so timid before that she hadn't noticed he was at least as strong as her Tom. One of his hands slip out from her shirt to slide first along her clothed butt, and then again under the layers of clothing on her bare skin. She moans when he squeezes. She draws away from his lips long enough to kiss down his jaw and along one side of his neck until her lips reach rough clothing.

His hand returns to her back. It slips to her stomach as she rises to straddling him upright. They work around each other to release buttons and zippers. He finishes first—she only has the two buttons and short zipper. She stops her work so he can lift the rest of the shirt over her head and arms. As soon as he tosses it aside, she finishes the last button and he rises slightly so she can pull his shirt from his body. She wants to feel his skin and reaches behind herself to remove her bra, tossing it by way the other articles have already gone. His hands slide up her stomach to cup her breasts and she arches into the touch, throwing her head back with abandon. He's warm and he's alive. He loves her.

She looks down at him as she brings her arms between his. She pushes them aside slowly so she can press herself firmly to him and kiss his lips. B'Elanna rocks her pelvis against his, loving the satisfied groans that are just loud enough to escape their kiss into her awaiting room. His hands wander over her back, get side-tracked to squeeze her ass, and then slip seductively back up her sides. She moans in time to his hands until she's had enough.

B'Elanna stands up from the bed and works to divest herself of the rest of her clothing. She hears Tom do the same and resists the urge to look, at least openly. She does catch a glimpse of his hair dipping teasingly past the waistband of his boxers before tearing her eyes away.

"Lights, fifty per—" He looks at her with confusion and then distrust. _Stupid!_

"I thought you loved me. You don't want to look at me?" She wouldn't say fifty percent makes it hard to see someone as close to her as she planned to have him. It would just hide her sharp edges. He doesn't seem to realize that though. He reaches for the boxers that he'd just dropped to the floor next to the bed and shoves a foot into them. She quickly kneels in front of him to still his hand. He looks at her, but he doesn't seem happy to be doing so.

"No, I'm sorry." She chews the inside of her cheek. How does she explain hating the ridges on her forehead and back when, in this universe, he probably wished he had some himself? She puts a hand on his cheek and gently draws him down to her. He doesn't resist her when she kisses him softly. "I'm sorry," she repeats quieter. "I'm just not...pretty where I come from. It's hard to get used to anything else." 

"Oh." He touches her side with the hand—she notes—he'd been using to pull up his boxers just a moment before. She hears them slip to the floor.

Her chest feels tight. Earlier, she'd just had to go with the motions. Now that they're at a standstill, she feels like she has to make the decision to continue all over again. There also seems to be more cause to worry that he'll leave. His other hand tucks a strand of hair behind her ear just after trailing his fingertips along her forehead. He's watching his hand.

His lip quirks into a familiar smile, only she'd never expect to hear the words from him, "You're beautiful." She smiles and laughs—almost cries. She kisses him so he won't notice, pushing him against the bed and clambering over him. She feels light enough to float away and she's glad he holds her tightly. They kiss—tongues exploring, hands roaming, hips grinding—until B'Elanna feels like she's tempting fate too much not to continue _now_.

She draws back to straddle and ride him, only he pushes gently on her shoulder in a motion similar to hers earlier. Curious and, not to mention, worried, she lays back on the bed. She breaths a sigh of relief when he follows her. His right hand is near her shoulder, supporting himself. He uses his left to rub his slightly slippery penis against her. It gets more slippery against her skin and she can't help but feel aroused further by the way her body welcomes him. He pushes slowly into her, guiding with his left hand until he's in enough to not need it. His hand lands heavily on her other side. She turns her head to kiss his wrist.

He's smiling when she looks back. It isn't a content to be in a woman smile. It's a content to be in the woman he loves smile and she knows it. She runs her hand along his cheek, letting it cup his jaw at the end of the motion. He lowers himself to kiss her now that he's fully sheathed within her. They kiss sweetly, steadily, as he begins to move.

Her belly feels tight against his thrusts as he plunges deep into her. The pressure feels sublimely satisfying. She moans against his lips and he draws back after one more lingering pass of his tongue. He holds her legs against his chest with one wide-held hand and wraps the other to touch her most sensitive area. She didn't know she was throbbing to be touched there.

B'Elanna gasps as his thumb presses down. She moans when he begins a slow steady circle meant to work her up. The sensation of him thrusting into her and his fingers and even his arm around her legs all compete for her attention. She can't give any one more than a few moments before another demands she focus on it. His grip around her legs are loose enough for her to roll her hips against his fingers. It doesn't take long for her orgasm to steal over her body, forming a rigid arch with the highest point being where their bodies are joined perfectly.

He doesn't give her any time at all to recover. As soon as she starts her high-pitched, hybrid moan and yell, he moves his hand away so it can wrap around her legs to hold them slightly apart and begins pounding into her. She can feel her inner walls tightening and the way he holds her so steady against him. It's enough to draw out this orgasm and bring long, shuddering aftershocks across her body. She's still enduring the aftershocks when she feels him surge into her with a breathy gasp. It feels so right: her and him. She runs her fingers along his forearms across her thighs. He looks up, sweaty and panting softly. She offers a smile. He offers one back.

"I love you, B'Elanna," he says.

"I love you, Tom," she answers.


	2. Tell Me You Love Me

It's been five weeks and three days since returning to the Delta Quadrant and her universe. She can't help but miss the other universe, especially since it seems this one isn't very happy to have her.

B'Elanna moves by memory from under the covers of her bed to her bathroom. She's felt nauseous every morning since returning. She could just be sad, but since returning from the mirror universe, she doesn't like how that makes her look weak and so it can't be it. Tom saw her as strong and loved her for it. She wonders instead if there was a phase variance she and Harry missed in the scans. The thought occurs this morning that maybe she picked up some illness. A mirror universe sickness could be unpredictable except for one thing: heroes always end up dead.

Heroes and people in general seem to die more often in that mirror universe.

While she's had this thought at various intervals in the time she's returned, this time, it's too much for her redundant stomachs as images of Tom's and Chakotay's bloodied bodies assault her mind's eye. She only just manages to collapse to her knees and aim for the toilet with her hands around the cold rim before a spew of foul smelling stomach acid rises up and out.

Her chest feels tight when she's finished. All she can think about is Tom and the last thing she saw of him. _Why didn't I save him?_ She knows the answer. Kathryn was closer. Tom was too far. She couldn't save him anyway. Heroes always end up dead. She stands on wobbly knees, flushes the toilet, washes her hands, and then brushes her teeth before continuing with her usual morning routine.

She makes her way to the mess hall without consciously deciding to. When she gets there, she nearly heaves again from the smell. She turns away so the door closes her off from it.

"Maquis!"

"Starfleet," she drops the hand from her mouth and nose with some difficulty.

"I haven't seen you this early in a while. You getting breakfast?"

"I was, but it doesn't smell good so I think I'll skip it." Her stomachs betray her by growling. Harry laughs and steps inside the mess hall, dragging her by the arm. She holds her breath until she finds she can breathe without gagging.

"Don't let Neelix hear you say that. He'll spend all day cooking for you until you convince him you like something." Harry steers them to the food line. Tom is already in line ahead of them. He waves, but neither she nor Harry want to skip ahead to him, albeit for different reasons.

She can't help but feel like she'd betrayed him somehow by not telling him or the other senior officers that they met most of them. It might be easier if she didn't want Tom to touch her every time she came near. She keeps expecting him to and it keeps bringing back memories—good and bad, but enough of them are bad that she hasn't sat with him outside meetings and a few quick meals when there was no time to feel sad. With Harry in tow, she'll have to sit with him. Her nausea actually put her ahead of schedule today so she'll have no excuse to leave quickly. B'Elanna focuses on carrying her tray through the line. Watching herself fulfill a simple physical act helps keep her mind off her queasy stomachs. They're worse than they've ever been thus far. However, she hasn't needed to sit with Tom, the man she loves who doesn't know, for any extended period of time until now.

She picks up her tray from the end of the line and follows Harry who obediently finds the table Tom's at. Sue Nicoletti is in the seat beside Tom because the mess hall is filled to capacity. Harry sits in front of Tom and she sits in front of Sue gratefully. She does love Tom. She realized it was inevitable after seeing the mirror universe's Tom die. He'd done it for her, she realized in the aftermath. B'Elanna couldn't help but think it was an act of heroism that her Tom would have done as well. It had the right mix of reckless and passion. Only, if he'd tried, he probably wouldn't have died.

Her vision goes cloudy as she stares at her food. Harry and Tom are talking near her. Sue is quiet. B'Elanna can't follow the conversation. She feels queasy again.

"I'm sorry," she stands and they fall silent to look at her, "I don't feel well. I'll see you later." Tom stands, his chair scraping. She can't look away at the concern in his eyes. _If only he knew._ She can't entertain these thoughts. Already her throat feels tight. _I can't believe I told him I loved him. What did I expect? I knew I couldn't take him back here._

"Are you going to go to Sickbay?" Tom asks. "Let me walk you. I start in there today." She looks down at Harry who is avoiding her eyes for the most part. She never told Harry about that night with Tom, but maybe he guessed. He'd offered his condolences to her on the shuttle back like...like Tom had meant something to her. Only Sue is looking at her— _and oh no she must realize_ —wearing a discrete smile.

"I, no. I'm fine. I just need to leave." She drops her voice to a whisper for Neelix's sake, "The food smells really bad to me today." Tom isn't buying it.

"It's fine. I'm not hungry either." Tom shrugs and then picks up his tray. "Besides, the sooner I get there, the sooner the Doc will let me leave, especially if I actually see a patient today."

Harry nudges her when Tom walks past the table to put his tray away. "You can't avoid him forever, you know."

"I know," she hisses quietly, embarrassed that Sue heard. _What will she think?_ She glances, but Sue is doing a good impression of being uninterested. Feeling cornered, B'Elanna decides to follow Tom. At least she'll get away from the food smells. He's waiting for her outside the mess hall.

"What are you actually up to?"

"I should go to Sickbay. I think something's wrong. I've felt queasy every day since returning." She realizes she might have said too much. He'll probably wonder and start to ask questions. In her state, she might just tell him everything on the off-chance that he could feel the same.

"Harry mentioned having headaches for a few weeks. Maybe the travel affected you too," he suggests. She lets out the breath she didn't notice she's started holding. When he begins walking, she walks with him.

"Right," she confirms, "I think it might be a phase variance somewhere." He nods. She catches it from the corner of her eye as they step onto the turbolift.

"We have something for that in Sickbay." He addresses the turbolift, "Sickbay," and then they're off. She feels the need to fill the air, but knows better than to talk aimlessly. "I still can't believe you got all the way to the Alpha Quadrant, and in another universe to boot!"

She clasps her hands behind herself nervously. "We wanted to stay at first until we realized we weren't even in the same universe."

"Really?" He's surprised. "You and Harry would leave us just like that?" She shakes her head quickly and leaves it at that. She doesn't know what she'd say that either he hadn't already heard or that he shouldn't hear per her and Harry's agreement. The turbolift doors open. Tom steps out ahead of her, but they fall in step once they're through the door. The Doctor is already online when they walk into Sickbay together.

"Mister Paris!" He beams. "You're early."

"B'Elanna didn't feel well at breakfast, so I offered to walk her here." Tom picks up a tricorder on their way to the nearest biobed. The Doctor hovers nearby, but he lets Tom conduct his scans on his own. Tom frowns, presses a few buttons and then scans her again. "Doc." B'Elanna watches their exchange, catching the conversation but not understanding. "I thought everyone was supposed to be up to date. And I don't think...." He glances at her with concern? A knot forms in her belly. The Doctor's eyes grow in size when he sees the tricorder.

"Everyone is, but she missed the last one for being in the mirror universe as far as I know."

"Then someone there...?" The Doctor takes the tricorder from Tom and presses a few buttons of his own.

"At about 5 weeks I'm afraid so... That explains not feeling well."

"I got back five weeks ago and I'm a little nauseous every day now since." Tom and the Doctor exchange a look that she doesn't understand. She wishes Tom wasn't here; the Doctor would stop avoiding whatever is going on and tell her what's wrong with her. It's probably just overlooked radiation or phase variance. Maybe it is that she's sad and has Tom on her mind a lot, but maybe not. Then, maybe it's a good thing he's here. Maybe the Doctor is about to tell her she contracted an incurable disease. She can't help being worried.

"Did anything...happen?" Tom seems both concerned and at a loss of words.

"You mean beyond what Harry and I said?" _Yes._

The Doctor clears his throat, drawing her attention. He asks like he's treading on glass, "Were you sexually assaulted, B'Elanna?"

"Was I— What? No!" She stands abruptly and snatches the tricorder from him. _Then again, everything was so backwards. Maybe when I had too much bloodwine—_ The readings sit on the screen, oddly serene for what they're accusing her of.

"Oh." She stumbles back and is grateful for maybe the first time in her life to have a biobed nearby. Tom takes the tricorder from her gingerly, but she drops it when their fingers touch. It clatters on the ground harmlessly.

"Then you know about this?" Tom asks as he rises from picking up the tricorder. She can't help but think _he_ looks hurt. She's the one who's—who's _pregnant_! She's the one who has to deal with this! Admittedly, the possibility of carrying Tom's child appeals to her in a romantic and martyr-like way. "So whose is it?" He asks when she's too shocked to answer. He tries to sound happy for her, but she can pick up the discomfort. She didn't think he felt that way about her, despite all his flirting. Flirting always seemed to be his natural state. To think he actually meant more by it feels disorienting and surreal.

"Miss Torres doesn't need to divulge that information so long as the father was human or Klingon. Either would be trivial for her to carry to term."

"To term?" She asks as she dodges the hypospray the Doctor wants to administer. He holds it out awkwardly.

"You're healthy and young. You'd have no trouble carrying a part human or part Klingon child to term." She doesn't bother giving him specific information since she doesn't want anyone to draw conclusions. She's not even sure if she wants to keep it.

"If I'm so young and healthy, what's the hypospray for?"

"Pre-natal vitamins." The words sound foreign in her ears even though she's sure she's heard them before. Granted, they'd never been said _to_ her.

"How—" her throat's dry so she clears it before continuing, "How long until I have to decide?"

"You are five weeks now so you have 18 weeks to decide," the Doctor answers. He brandishes the hypospray in front of her. "I'd like to administer those pre-natal vitamins in case you decide to keep her."

"Her?"

"The tricorder reported the DNA is female. 'Her' is the appropriate pronoun to use." He sounds so matter-of-fact, like giving it a sex doesn't personify it. Maybe he doesn't realize since everyone uses male pronouns with him, a hologram. The pronoun is like a punch to her gut. _A daughter._ How many times had she wished never to get pregnant because of how her mother treated her? Now, she's facing having a daughter, having the opportunity to repeat her mother's mistakes.

The hypospray hisses against her neck when she nods her assent. She rubs at the spot, wondering if she feels any different. Tom has busied himself in another area of Sickbay without her noticing until now. Even though she wanted him gone just moments ago, she can't help but feel let down by him leaving. She wonders if she should tell him what actually happened. What would he do?

"You'll need to check in twice a week for additional vitamins. I can also send Mr. Paris to administer it."

"You have your emitter, why can't you come?" She protests. He looks taken aback.

"I have my experiments," he says as he gestures to the room at large. "They're very intricate and Mr. Paris doesn't know how to take care of them." She doesn't have the emotional fortitude to question how the twenty minutes total it'd take to go to her twice a week would somehow affect his experiments.

"Kes?" His expression falls into something more somber.

"She's had a difficult month. Chakotay and I thought it best to give her time."

"Fine. He can administer it. Am I free to go?"

"One moment. I have a radiation inoculation to give you yet." At her confused expression, he adds like it's obvious, "For when you're around the warp core."

"Okay." He replaces the cartridge.

"These are two times a week and before away missions." She nods after he presses the hypospray to her neck. She can't believe she's asking this. Maybe she wants to make amends somehow? She can't stand to have Tom upset with her.

"Tom will administer everything?"

"Yes. You're free to go, Lieutenant. Please let me know what you decide as soon as you know."


	3. Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned for this that 1 in 5 women will have a miscarriage in their lifetime. Here's where it happens. Skip this chapter if that's better for you. c:

She sits on the cold tile with her head and back against the wall. Her legs feel spent. Her body feels weak. She feels sticky and sore. When another cramp hits, she can't fight the tears any more and lets them fall as she draws her legs in to her chest where she can hug them.

 _I lost her._ She hadn't even had time to decide. _No, I had plenty of time._ She can't help but wonder if there was something the Doctor could have done to help her. If she'd said something sooner, maybe he could have given her more pre-natal vitamins or more radiation inoculations. Her vision blurs when she wipes at her eyes. Her sniffles echo off the bulkheads loudly. She hardly hears Tom when he calls her from the other room.

"B'Elanna?" He doesn't normally just walk in for her medication. He usually calls ahead, and only when she doesn't answer, does he walk in. She remembers. Her commbadge attached to her jacket landed on the couch when she ran in here. He finds her. "Are you—"

"No." Her voice comes in like static. Can't he see the drops of blood on the tile? Can't he tell? Her hopes rise. He's a trained medic; maybe she's overreacting. Maybe this is normal. Somehow she manages to ask, "Do you have a tricorder?" He nods as he kneels beside her and scans the side of her barely showing stomach. She'd expected to be bigger by now, maybe that's why this is happening. Tom shakes his head.

"I'm sorry."

Or maybe heroes always end up dead.

Her sobs renew. She hadn't even decided! This wasn't fair! How dare the universe do this to her!? Didn't the Doctor tell her she was healthy!?

When Tom draws her into a hug and shushes her, she realizes she's shaking. He rubs soothing circles against her back. The gentleness of the motion reminds her of the dead father of her dead and unborn baby. Confessions come tumbling out like sand against rocks on a windy day. She just needs to send it all out and let it do the damage it will do. She doesn't care now. She wants to disappear.

"I think I was going to keep her— _hic_ " Never mind how she'd manage that alone, but Wildman has done a good job so far. Why should she be any different? She doesn't have a close relationship with Neelix like Wildman does. _Maybe Tom would have—_ She doesn't finish the thought. It hurts too much. "I was starting to get used to the idea. But, but this!" She wails as another cramp clenches her lower abdomen. It doesn't physically hurt. She doesn't need to make a scene, but she can't help it; it still hurts. She cries more when the cramp releases itself. She should get up and shower, or at least— _I can't_ —tell the Doctor. The sole comfort she finds is that Tom lets her cry. Only when she stops shaking does he speak again. He doesn't let go of her or stop his circles and she's grateful.

"We should take you to the Doctor," he says quietly. She nods because he's right. Tom helps her stand. She feels ready to cry again upon feeling the blood in her underwear shift. "Computer, two to Sickbay, center on my coordinates." For a moment, B'Elanna no longer feels the blood. For a moment, she can pretend everything's alright.

Then she's standing under the harsh lights of Sickbay where it all started. Tom helps her to a biobed and then goes to the Doctor's office out of sight. When he returns with the Doctor, the Doctor runs another scan over her recumbent body. She looks to him for a sign that Tom was wrong. She needs him to be wrong. The Doctor shakes his head as if he knew what she wants to know.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant." He pats her arm and asks softly, "Have you used the restroom yet?" She shakes her head. She wasn't ready to see a dead baby in the toilet. She doesn't know if that's what she'd see, but that's what she expected to see so she couldn't do it. The Doctor's voice remains soft and non-threatening. "I'd like you to try."

 _This isn't happening. I'm going to wake up, and this will all be a dream—a nightmare._ B'Elanna blinks back tears. She wishes she could tell Tom about his double in the mirror universe, but he'd just witnessed and held her while she mourned this loss. _I can never tell him._ When her vision clears she tries to will herself awake. She knows it's pointless. She's awake, at least physically if not emotionally. Tom helps her dazed body move into a seated position. He and the Doctor both help her from the biobed. They take her to the door of the restroom in Sickbay and leave her to handle herself inside. She has to put in a lot of work not to simply curl up against the wall again. It's all she wants to do.

All she knows is the small _plop_ and the hopelessly empty feeling that follows. She stands to look at the disfigured, lifeless body there. _She's so tiny._ Then, B'Elanna turns away to clean herself up. She flushes before washing her hands to the sound of the swirling water. Her breathing stutters when she catches a glimpse of the clear water replace the bloody water. She looks away abruptly, dries her hands, and exits the bathroom.

"It's over," she says quietly to no one in particular. She can't look at them. She walks out without entertaining the Doctor or Tom. They don't stop her. She needs to be alone. The universes must want that for her anyway.


	4. What Happens Next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed some dialogue from _Day of Honor_ and _Revulsion_ , which were written, respectively, by Jeri Taylor and Lisa Klink. I receive no compensation for this and the stories are theirs.

_"You will continue to pass tissues in the coming weeks. There's a medication I can give you to make that easier."_

_"Okay."_

_"Do you have any questions?" She shakes her head and lets the Doctor administer the hypospray. Then, she goes back to work where her subordinates are oblivious to the battle her body is raging._

**\---**

_"I have to tell you the truth."_

_"The truth about what?" Everything runs through her head at his question: the away mission so long ago; the way she found comfort in both versions of him; the crushing feeling of loss. There isn't time to explain it all._

_"I love you."_

**\---**

_"About what you said. I mean, the part about being in love with me. I realize you were suffering from oxygen deprivation and we were literally seconds away from death, so I know you probably didn't mean it." He corners her to tell her this; to let her off easy? Admittedly she knows she's been through a lot. It's like him to be gentle._

_"No, no, I meant it. But I don't expect you to reciprocate. Really, you can just pretend that I didn't say it. In fact let's just pretend that I didn't—"_

_"Shut up." She fears something bad will happen again. That's why she doesn't hold back when she kisses him. She's floating once more. This pilot has her heart and knows how to fly it._

**\---**

Tom steals a kiss for the top of her head. She doesn't want to admit it, but it's like they've always been this close. She feels timid about it most of the time, but he never seems to be worried. She sits forward on the couch so that he can settle in and lean against the armrest behind her. She scoots back into his arms.

"What are you thinking?"

She's thinking about questions. She has so many questions. Will they really last? Will she want a child one day? Will she be able to carry a child then? Will she want it with him? Will he die tomorrow? He hugs her closer and she remembers that this is _her_ universe. People don't die for no reason here.

"You make me feel safe." He smiles and turns her face and his to where he can kiss her sweetly. Her fears abate under his affection like they always do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen The One (2001), I highly recommend it. It's a sci-fi action movie where whenever a mirror universe version of yourself dies, their power and personalities get merged into everyone remaining. It's my favorite idea about mirror universes and it's what partially inspired the feeling safe once more with Alpha Tom.


End file.
